I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
