Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
