put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
