Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just had sex bonerless
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
