I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you have to choose: penises or morals?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize