i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
