This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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