i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
