You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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