tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
