Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize