how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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