Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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