Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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