I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
