Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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