Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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