i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
