3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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