So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
