My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
