I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
