I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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