Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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