I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
