***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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