we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
