i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize