We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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