Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
