So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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