bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
