peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
