He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
