i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
