Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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