five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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