who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize