Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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