Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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