I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
