Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
