How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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