my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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