I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
