I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
