I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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