i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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