They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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