we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
