this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
