my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
