why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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