wrigley field is MILF paradise
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
