True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize