Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
