New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
