I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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