Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am full of burrito and curiosity
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
