Please don't use social media to get back at me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
