i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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