just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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