Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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